Estrangement didn't begin with my daughter...it began with myself!

I never intended to write a book. Writing became a way to survive the moments when living without my daughter felt unbearable—when the only relief came from letting the truth move out of my body and onto the page.

 

As I wrote, I realized how much I needed my truth to exist beyond silence or distortion. I was terrified that if I were to die while estranged, my daughter would never know how much I loved her and how deeply I missed her. In some places, I wrote directly to her, simply to say I love you. In others, I wrote about our family history, family systems and my decision to divorce so the story could exist through my voice, not someone else’s.

 

Something entirely unexpected happened as the pages unfolded. Writing became a journey of self-discovery and a return back to myself.  I was able to look honestly at my own shortcomings, acknowledge where I wish I had done better, and to hold compassion for my daughter, myself, and even my former husband. It changed me.

 

Over the time it took to write, edit and publish this book, I discovered tools and practices that allowed me to move through devastation and rebuild my life from the ground up. In re-membering who I was before marriage and before motherhood, I found my way forward into a new life—one that I deeply appreciate and enjoy today.  

 

I share these experiences in my memoir as proof that from the deepest anguish of loss, new possibilities can emerge and a richer life can take shape. My memoir is an invitation to re-member who you once were, return to what once brought you alive and discover a path forward after the burn of estrangement.